Long, strange trip. Long post. Year in review.

Whoa. I've been at this for a year, y'all!  Don't want to read all 50-something posts to catch up? Well here's the review for you:

On October 7, 2012 I had had enough.  I was about to turn 35. No chair was comfortable. I couldn't sit like a lady. (And you all know I am a proper lady)  My monster calves had eaten my ankles.  I couldn't walk up the stairs or through the parking lot at work without huffing and puffing.  The last time I had been on a roller coaster, the Rams were in the Super Bowl and Pau Gasol was drafted by Atlanta.  

I was on 4 different medications for different issues.  I was wearing a size 26 (sometimes 26/28).  I knew I wanted to change things but really had no idea how I was going to do that. -So I started typing.

As I began to write blog posts and receive tremendous report from those close to me and strangers alike, things started to fall in to place. I started to research, move, make different food choices, and try to establish even a hint of a good habit or two.  I set some reasonable "loose" goals so that I wouldn't set myself up for failure.  My husband supported me 180% (because he's wonderful!!) and I joined forces with two great friends to start Weight Watchers and have a support team in them that cannot be beat! Go Team JAG!

In January I was finally brave enough to join a gym - Anytime Fitness.  I could barely go for more than 2 minutes on the elliptical machine.  I did have the desire to do things and get stronger, but I realized I needed some help.  Enter Big A, the trainer. My coach. My gym security blanket. My homey for life. And, now, a wonderful friend both inside and outside of the gym; along with his family.  I started training last winter with Big A and have been challenged and sometimes frustrated.  I have, however, gotten stronger and I continue to do new things and get better at tasks I could barely do a year ago.  I keep wondering how this is working when nothing else has?  First, there was no intimidation, only encouragement.  Big A has been a crucial part of my support system. Why? Absolutely. No. Negativity.  -And she smacks me down why I try to let anything negative slip out.  Second, there has never been pressure about specific goals or specific weights (unless it came from me), but instead he helps me focus on challenging myself and simply getting better every day and remembering where I started.  -That simple.  He has to remind me of that often.  The man also has the 'patience of Job' to be able to deal with me and my bullshit multiple times per week. I will never be able to thank him enough. I share my silliness and my little victory moments with him all the time, but I don't know if he'll really ever know just how much I appreciate him for helping me save my life.  Big, big fist-bumps to you, Big A. 

Yes, it has put a financial strain on us to train, etc. but it is worth it many times over.  Thank God for my sweet husband and his support of all that I do.  

Outside the gym and training, I have learned to love running and want to get better at it. 

So a year is now behind me. I turn 36 in a few days.  My God, 36 seemed like an eternity away even just a few years ago!  So I'll spend a few days by the water to celebrate (thanks to the bestest friend ever!) and then I'll get back to work to begin a new year of challenges.  I will continue being coached by Big A. I will continue with WW and my Team JAG girls.  I'll learn to be a better runner, especially with my new running partner, Bear Cavanaugh. I'll continue to FEEL BETTER and get stronger.

So what else is there to say? Oh yeah - F I N A L L LY -  

I hit 50 pounds lost. When I wrote my first post I was sitting at 288 pounds on my home scale.  I stepped on that same scale on September 30th, and saw the cutest number ever: 237.5.  Exhale! That's huge. Huge! I've never, ever lost more than 5 or 10 pounds and it always came back and them some.  This is so, so promising.  It definitely doesn't mean that I'm finished. -But it means that I can do it and I can keep going.  I have (probably) about 70 more pounds to go before I can say I have reached my weight goal and can start working to maintain that.  There's another year or two of work to be done to get there I think.  I'm happy with slow and steady; though I still reserve the right to complain every now and then if I'm frustrated.  :) Oh, and the Redskins shirt - I'm not quite there yet but almost.  It goes over my boobs and my guts now! -Just too tight to wear to the Food Lion, though I'd fit right in on some days. I'll get there.  I'm happy with my size progress. I'm now in an 18. In fact, my friend just gave me a pair of size 18 jeans. Button fly. That's never gone on this body before, and I may never take them off.  I told her I was so excited because I didn't even have to lay down to try and button them! 

Side Story:   When we were in high school and even a little after, I was always so sad that I couldn't shop at American Eagle with all of my friends.  That store was the stuff in the 90's in Charlottesville.  If you didn't have a few outfits from there, at least, you could kick rocks.  I owned one, ONE, item from that store back then. It was a men's flannel shirt (I LOVED that thing) that I wore, unbuttoned of course, to death.  Guess where those button fly jeans are from, y'all? Now I may be to too old to shop there, but I don't care, I will anyway. I promise, though, not to go out and find a HyperColor body suit on Ebay to wear just because I may be able to.  


I'm also happy with my general health progress. I'm taking no meds, except for the unexpected few I had to get this past week.  Grrrr! -But I'm done with those and learning to de-stress. Hopefully that won't happen again. 

My cholesterol, blood sugar, blood pressure and thyroid levels all came in at "Girl, who are you? Did someone else take this test for you?"-numbers a couple of weeks ago at my latest screening. 



I feel good right now. I'm so thankful for all of the support that all of you (who take the time to read my craziness) have given me.

Stay tuned for more updates; major, minor, odd, and unecessary. It's going to be a good year.

I'm not one to wait 'til the end of a project for thank-you's.  Thank you all (and I hope I forget no one) for the help, the kind words, the laughs, the Tweets, the challenges, the "just checking on you", the "I'm proud of you", and the thoughts/prayers you sent my way this past year. Many of you have/had more important things to worry about but you took time out for me and I appreciate it.

Puddles, my sweet husband          Alfred (Big A) and Julie
My Momma                                  Genevieve
My Momma-In-Law and Pops          Sloane
Missy                                           Michelle                                       
Jaime                                         The 2 Angies in my life - Angela & Angie
Corey                                          Erin
Ana                                             Gloria
Rosita                                          Lynette
Sharon                                         Jenna-Jean
Teresa                                         Butch
Amanda                                       Flip
Heidi                                           Justin
...plus anyone I can't think of right now with Sunday brain, and of course many of you who sent me private messages who would kick my butt if I mentioned you here. 

Progress...

...is a good thing!

Keep calm and don't eat the cheese fries...

This is one of those good news/bad news posts; though I have to remind myself that there really is no bad news as long as I am working hard.

Well let's start with the good news:
I was down 2 pounds at WW weigh in this week.  That was an unexpected gift because I didn't feel any lighter! (You laugh, but sometimes you do feel when you're a pound or two down.)

And now, let's call it the other news instead of bad news:
Big A and I had a date with the measuring tape yesterday.  We revisited the measurements and info. he took down in February to see how I had progressed.  I was disappointed.  I didn't cry.  I sure as hell wanted to, but I prefer to be a tough character if I can because all crying does is make my nose run.  Some numbers were better, some the same, and some a little worse.  Based on my gym work-ethic I just really thought I would have progressed a little bit more on paper.  
Bummed.  
Totally bummed.  
It didn't change anything.  I still want to do this, and I'm still working/going to work hard.  So what do we do? We're still going to work hard 3 times per week, and I need to work a little harder on my own (between work, homework, husband, sleep...). I'm also going to try a new food plan courtesy of Big A. I'm still a proud WW girl, and this new plan should fit just fine in my points system. I'll do yet another cleansing of the fridge and pantry this weekend and start from scratch on Monday.  This may be what I need for a new jump-start, especially after a lot of eating out this week.  

There's a little motivation for this new start too. Our gym is running a "biggest loser" style contest that started this week (that's why we started over with new measurements and such). I want to win it. Period.  Ask my husband, there's not much I like more in this world than winning.  We'll see - I'm going to bust my butt, though, that's for sure.

So I just need to remember that I'm doing well - and I've come a LOOOOONNG way since that first time I walked in the door of Anytime Fitness in January.  I feel better.  Measurements aside, my clothes are starting to not fit or fit differently.  I also worked out with person who is new to the gym this past week and, even though she is quite a bit smaller than me, I was able to spot areas where have improved a lot compared to someone just starting out.  (Thanks, Big A, for pointing that out to me.)

What else?

As usual, school is kicking my butt but my two classes end next Friday.  That means this coming week is going to be tough.   Whew!   Then I'll get a school break for a whole weekend before two more classes start up for eight weeks; oh yea, and then a third will overlap the last two weeks of those two classes. Good times. Deep breaths. 

Cankles (Or The Girl Who Grew Tired of Being a Lump)

Welcome to my very first blog post!  I don't know that any of you will be interested in this, but at least I am. :0) I'll apologize now, because this first post may be a little long. I'll keep them shorter in the future.

In a few days I'll celebrate my 35th birthday.  I've been thinking over the past few weeks about what I want for my birthday and maybe what I want to accomplish in my 35th year.  I decided on something that shocked even myself a little bit.  For my birthday, I want to save my life.  I'm too fat for my own good and if I don't finally do something about it I'll die.

How did I arrive at this decision (about 15 years too late, I might add)?  Well, looking at my photo, one might think I'd say "Daaaamn girl! You need to do something about your ass!"just by seeing my size.  Nope.  Or maybe the past three trips to the doctor (throughout the past year) where I saw my weight and blood pressure in black-and-white and should have had a light bulb moment? Nope. Man troubles? Hell no - my husband rocks and honestly loves me in any shape or size.  What put me over the edge? One word:  CANKLES.

I've never been a small person but have generally been okay with being pleasantly plump through the years.  But a few days ago I was in the shower shaving my legs and there they were - looking right up at me laughing "Bwaaahahahaha, we finally got you, you ice cream-eatin' hussy!"  I realized that I now have cankles. -Mother-@#$*!&^ cankles!  I will not have my legs turned in to stumps! It's on.

It's so funny that my cankle realization is what finally made my brain click.  I don't want to be a lump anymore.  I work with athletes and fit people every day and I am looking like a chump!  I am going to do something about this - for real.  I want to be able to run, because I actually like it.  I want to be able to shop in more than one store in my hometown.  I want to be able to ride a roller coaster or play soccer again, or go out dancing with the girls and not have to worry about my boobs or my butt knocking someone's drink over. In thinking about how to do this, two things are clear:   I am addicted to food;  and this will not work if I'm not accountable to someone/something other than myself.  So - I'm going to blog it. That way, if I'm screwing up, friends and strangers alike can put me in my place and I invite you to do just that.  I plan to post at least once a week, but hopefully more, about my goals, progress, and anything else I might find funny, crazy, or interesting along the way.

First goal: honesty. So tonight, as I sit on the couch with the dog having my last date night with my boys Ben and Jerry, I will be (cringe) honest and tell/show something that I hate to look at.  Here's the most recent picture I have of myself at my current weight:  287 pounds.  Good God did I just type that out loud? I hope Ben and Jerry will be able to live without me. I'm going to do this. Giddy up...