Long, strange trip. Long post. Year in review.

Whoa. I've been at this for a year, y'all!  Don't want to read all 50-something posts to catch up? Well here's the review for you:

On October 7, 2012 I had had enough.  I was about to turn 35. No chair was comfortable. I couldn't sit like a lady. (And you all know I am a proper lady)  My monster calves had eaten my ankles.  I couldn't walk up the stairs or through the parking lot at work without huffing and puffing.  The last time I had been on a roller coaster, the Rams were in the Super Bowl and Pau Gasol was drafted by Atlanta.  

I was on 4 different medications for different issues.  I was wearing a size 26 (sometimes 26/28).  I knew I wanted to change things but really had no idea how I was going to do that. -So I started typing.

As I began to write blog posts and receive tremendous report from those close to me and strangers alike, things started to fall in to place. I started to research, move, make different food choices, and try to establish even a hint of a good habit or two.  I set some reasonable "loose" goals so that I wouldn't set myself up for failure.  My husband supported me 180% (because he's wonderful!!) and I joined forces with two great friends to start Weight Watchers and have a support team in them that cannot be beat! Go Team JAG!

In January I was finally brave enough to join a gym - Anytime Fitness.  I could barely go for more than 2 minutes on the elliptical machine.  I did have the desire to do things and get stronger, but I realized I needed some help.  Enter Big A, the trainer. My coach. My gym security blanket. My homey for life. And, now, a wonderful friend both inside and outside of the gym; along with his family.  I started training last winter with Big A and have been challenged and sometimes frustrated.  I have, however, gotten stronger and I continue to do new things and get better at tasks I could barely do a year ago.  I keep wondering how this is working when nothing else has?  First, there was no intimidation, only encouragement.  Big A has been a crucial part of my support system. Why? Absolutely. No. Negativity.  -And she smacks me down why I try to let anything negative slip out.  Second, there has never been pressure about specific goals or specific weights (unless it came from me), but instead he helps me focus on challenging myself and simply getting better every day and remembering where I started.  -That simple.  He has to remind me of that often.  The man also has the 'patience of Job' to be able to deal with me and my bullshit multiple times per week. I will never be able to thank him enough. I share my silliness and my little victory moments with him all the time, but I don't know if he'll really ever know just how much I appreciate him for helping me save my life.  Big, big fist-bumps to you, Big A. 

Yes, it has put a financial strain on us to train, etc. but it is worth it many times over.  Thank God for my sweet husband and his support of all that I do.  

Outside the gym and training, I have learned to love running and want to get better at it. 

So a year is now behind me. I turn 36 in a few days.  My God, 36 seemed like an eternity away even just a few years ago!  So I'll spend a few days by the water to celebrate (thanks to the bestest friend ever!) and then I'll get back to work to begin a new year of challenges.  I will continue being coached by Big A. I will continue with WW and my Team JAG girls.  I'll learn to be a better runner, especially with my new running partner, Bear Cavanaugh. I'll continue to FEEL BETTER and get stronger.

So what else is there to say? Oh yeah - F I N A L L LY -  

I hit 50 pounds lost. When I wrote my first post I was sitting at 288 pounds on my home scale.  I stepped on that same scale on September 30th, and saw the cutest number ever: 237.5.  Exhale! That's huge. Huge! I've never, ever lost more than 5 or 10 pounds and it always came back and them some.  This is so, so promising.  It definitely doesn't mean that I'm finished. -But it means that I can do it and I can keep going.  I have (probably) about 70 more pounds to go before I can say I have reached my weight goal and can start working to maintain that.  There's another year or two of work to be done to get there I think.  I'm happy with slow and steady; though I still reserve the right to complain every now and then if I'm frustrated.  :) Oh, and the Redskins shirt - I'm not quite there yet but almost.  It goes over my boobs and my guts now! -Just too tight to wear to the Food Lion, though I'd fit right in on some days. I'll get there.  I'm happy with my size progress. I'm now in an 18. In fact, my friend just gave me a pair of size 18 jeans. Button fly. That's never gone on this body before, and I may never take them off.  I told her I was so excited because I didn't even have to lay down to try and button them! 

Side Story:   When we were in high school and even a little after, I was always so sad that I couldn't shop at American Eagle with all of my friends.  That store was the stuff in the 90's in Charlottesville.  If you didn't have a few outfits from there, at least, you could kick rocks.  I owned one, ONE, item from that store back then. It was a men's flannel shirt (I LOVED that thing) that I wore, unbuttoned of course, to death.  Guess where those button fly jeans are from, y'all? Now I may be to too old to shop there, but I don't care, I will anyway. I promise, though, not to go out and find a HyperColor body suit on Ebay to wear just because I may be able to.  


I'm also happy with my general health progress. I'm taking no meds, except for the unexpected few I had to get this past week.  Grrrr! -But I'm done with those and learning to de-stress. Hopefully that won't happen again. 

My cholesterol, blood sugar, blood pressure and thyroid levels all came in at "Girl, who are you? Did someone else take this test for you?"-numbers a couple of weeks ago at my latest screening. 



I feel good right now. I'm so thankful for all of the support that all of you (who take the time to read my craziness) have given me.

Stay tuned for more updates; major, minor, odd, and unecessary. It's going to be a good year.

I'm not one to wait 'til the end of a project for thank-you's.  Thank you all (and I hope I forget no one) for the help, the kind words, the laughs, the Tweets, the challenges, the "just checking on you", the "I'm proud of you", and the thoughts/prayers you sent my way this past year. Many of you have/had more important things to worry about but you took time out for me and I appreciate it.

Puddles, my sweet husband          Alfred (Big A) and Julie
My Momma                                  Genevieve
My Momma-In-Law and Pops          Sloane
Missy                                           Michelle                                       
Jaime                                         The 2 Angies in my life - Angela & Angie
Corey                                          Erin
Ana                                             Gloria
Rosita                                          Lynette
Sharon                                         Jenna-Jean
Teresa                                         Butch
Amanda                                       Flip
Heidi                                           Justin
...plus anyone I can't think of right now with Sunday brain, and of course many of you who sent me private messages who would kick my butt if I mentioned you here. 

Progress...

...is a good thing!

Progress

I've been fiddling with those collage apps.  I'm going to start making some progress photo files to keep myself more organized. Here's a peek!

Here's what you're looking at.
1. 7/2012- between 287 & 300lbs.
2. 10/2012- about 285lbs. 
3. & 4.  9/1/2013 - 237lbs.

1. 10/2012 - about 285lbs.
2. 7/5/2013 -248 lbs.
3. 9/1/2013 - 237lbs.
4.  9/7/2013 - 237lbs.

I'm going to hopefully be making a lot of these soon showing different things.

Strangers at Subway (Every sub has a silver lining)

Ruby Pearl Cavanaugh, my trusty blogging assistant
showing the world what she thinks of my work.

I wasn't planning to post this week because of my beef with my scale and my bit of laziness, lack of good sleep, and a broken fridge issue over the past week. But, alas, something nice came about and ruined a perfectly good pissy attitude so here I am; laid back blogging with the dog and the laptop.

Construction of a Wednesday crappy attitude:

Layer 1
GDD. Gym Deficit Disorder.  If you recall, I had a tiny increase on the scale last week and my trainer was on vacation.  While I did mostly keep up with cardio  on my own while Big A was away I barely hit the gym for over a week.  (We started back, thank God, this Monday)  I put in some good miles on the road but I could definitely tell a difference in my energy and attitude.  I'm sure my husband did too. -Love you, boo!

Layer 2
FF. Fridge Fail.  Our refrigerator died and we were without one for a a little over a week.  Do you know how hard it is to eat healthy foods, that you generally have to cook, without cold stuff?  Of course it was much easier to just eat out that take extra steps to eat all of the healthiest choices.  It got ugly. Italian restaurant ugly.  This lead to layer three even though I've been back on track for a few days with food.

Layer 3
WWF.  No, not Words With Friends-  Weight Watchers Fail.  I'm further away from 50 lbs lost than I was last week. That's no shocker given the events leading up to my weigh-in today.  What was a shock was my open-mouthed Napoleon Dynamite "GossssH" when I saw the number.  Really? How was I shocked? I knew what was going to happen! The good thing is it wasn't damage that isn't reversible and I'll have that number back where it needs to be by the next time I show my face in there.

There it is. -Three layers of piss and vinegar. A few other things also didn't go my way between the time I left work and the end of my 25 mile commute and made me want to drive right by Anytime Fitness and go straight to the end that road to the BBQ joint for buckets of mac-and-cheese.  But I didn't.  My evening plans had changed so I went in for Big A training and of course felt great after.

My attitude was starting to turn around when I went to our neighborhood Subway after my workout.  Usually about once a week we 'treat' ourselves to Subway.  I always go sweaty and in my soaked gym clothes.  I'm sure those people get tired of seeing me in lycra. Anyway.  There is one lady who is always there at the same time as me. I don't know her and she never speaks.  Tonight, she did.  As I ordered she said "Honey, I just don't know why you even get that sandwich when you're not goin' to put no cheese or mayne-aze on it! Wouldn't be worth it to me. Nuh uh! I love mayne-aze too much!" She was so cute!  I told her I was working on my health, etc. She said she had noticed me come in and out of there for while and she thought I was always coming from the gym or somewhere- and that she had noticed a difference in the way I looked and that I should keep up the good work and not go to Subway too much! How sweet was that!? I thought that was thoughtful and encouraging.  She cracked me up! It really did wash the stank right off of me!

So things are turning around.

What else?

• The yard sale was great and I re-homed a lot of clothes that don't no longer fit me.
• We're 23 days away from football kick-off and less than 20 days away from soccer season!
• Oh, and this:  

I love her!

Wish me luck this week!

Back to the blog: The case of the bad time manager

Oh. My. Stars.

It's been too long since I've posted! I've meant well all along, taking notes and making notes but man life has smacked me in the face hard-core.  By the time I'm home from work and/or the gym and I finish school work, I'm toast.  Dry, crusty, tired toast.  I'm going to pencil in more time to blog - because it helps me stay accountable and some you actually enjoy reading it, though I don't know why!

Me and Jaime at our latest 5k in June.

First, it's my 9 month mark of starting this crazy business, and my 6 month gym anniversary.  I didn't think I'd ever be typing that. That said, doing this and walking through those gym doors are the best decisions I've ever made, next to marrying my sweet husband.  I had another little victory in June with completing another 5k.  It was tough because it was very hilly and it was 200 degrees out that day.  Thank God for Jaime who made me shuffle my feet.

So let's start with the latest "breakthrough" moment. Jason and I went to a beautiful wedding yesterday and had an absolute ball!  What's the big deal?  I've been to very, very few weddings since my own.  A year or two ago I would have tried like hell to find something else to do (sending a gift, of course), or prayed for diarrhea so we wouldn't have to go.  Why? Shopping for dress clothes is horrible and should be outlawed! It got really old trying to find dresses in size 26, etc. as most them fell in to two categories:   moo-moo and great-grandmother-of -the-bride.  Who wants to wear those? And also, God forbid someone might snap a photo. Ew.

So lately I feel better, and am wearing a size 20 and even a smaller shoe size oddly enough.  I was able to find a cute dress and heels (yes, Lord, heels!) and I didn't feel like a big weirdo.  We had a great time with friends, and happily got over this little past hurdle.  Any night that ends with you walking with your shoes in your hands was a good one.

Me and the Mr. at the wedding 7/5.

I hope I'll be breaking the size barrier soon, and getting down to the 'teens.  I've got to step up a little bit to get back on the pace at which I was a few weeks ago.  Vacation was great - I managed to eat fairly well, exercise, and when I came back I had lost a few pounds.  Woohoo! That was mid-June.  I've had both up and down weeks since then but I'm still moving in the right direction.  I am starting to flirt with a big number - 50 pounds. (Did I say that out loud?)  I may actually be there by the end of the summer. I have about 12-ish pounds to go.  My team JAG girls are doing well too, and as a team we've lost almost 100 pounds between the three of us.

Training is still great. My trainer is still great because I'm a pain in the ass and he puts up with me. I'm being challenged a bit more and I'm hanging in there.  I love it. I may be a little addicted. And I know I'll keep getting better.  Where I need work, again, is with food.  I haven't been following my food plans as closely lately and it directly affects the scale.  Working on that....starting....now.

Because I'm A Lady, Damnit.

I just submitted my miserable final paper for class, I had to miss my best-good friend's going-away bash, AND baseball; so I thought I'd write something fun! 

Things are great since my last post.  I weighed in Wednesday at WW and was down 6.2 pounds for the week! I'm now down over 30 pounds since the beginning of all this now.  I have to say my new food switch-up is working! I'm thinking that was the little jump start I needed.  Now that my um tummy has um adjusted to all of my new meals and I've figured out how to cook sweet potatoes (don't judge me man, I don't cook things) I've added some new vitamins and such.  I didn't want to do it all at the same time.  The problem over the past month or so was not that I wasn't working out, or sticking with my WW points plan, it was the I had figured out how to 'work the system' food-wise.  I was staying within my points (and still eating SOOO much better than I used to) but everything was packaged, processed, 100-calorie pack, frozen, blah blah blah. I had moved away from the 'real' food and hadn't even realized it (see post about those blasted gnomes). Lots of little pieces are coming together again to work for me- gym, food, support.

Now, in WW land, this was a really big week! With this loss I hit my 25 pound mark on their program and my 10% mark! -10% of my starting body weight is gone! You can't see me now, but I'm doin' the Roger Rabbit dance in celebration! It's almost as good as a fat-man touchdown dance.  I can do that too.

I'll also say it again - and you're all tired of it I know, but walking in to the gym was the best thing I ever did. EVER.  I'm moving right along with my training sessions and loving it.  We 'boxed' for an hour this week and let me tell you- you have a beer or something at the end of a crappy day that's fine, but knocking the hell out of someone or something really takes all of the crud away! Ok, so I know I wasn't really boxing like the big boys but it really does work.  Also, I'm sure I think I was hitting Big A harder than I really was.  I'll stick with my ass-kicking version. :)

So all of this is great, but I had a little ohh-la-la moment this week.  I've been sitting, crossing my legs all the time. What's the big deal? I am, after all, a lady, dammit, so I should be sitting with my legs crossed! Well here's the deal - I couldn't do that before.  I could put my foot up on my knee and that was about it.  I was sitting in the chair at the gym just as comfy as can be and I realized what I was doing. I almost teared up a little bit.  I'm so excited, I think I'm just going to go around crossing my legs willy-nilly everywhere! Look! Here I am crossing my legs at work. And here- there I am crossing them in the gym!  Now, the thighs are still full of thunder but we're working on that. 

Summer school for me starts tomorrow and I'll be taking 3 classes.  I have no idea how I'm going to fit everything in each day!


And finally - Happy Mother's Day to my momma! She just turned 60 and deserves a major award for dealing with me for 35 of those years.

Me and Momma Joyce in July 2012- We'll have to take a picture with the work-in-progress me . This is the most recent one I can find. 

Those darned gnomes.

Whether you'll admit it or not, you all know you have them in your house.  Underwear gnomes. Dryer gnomes. Sock gnomes. And...in my house...refrigerator gnomes. 

Those little bastards have infiltrated my fridge again.  If you read my older posts, I did a sweeping clean-up of our fridge and pantry a few months back and it was awesome.  Well, the little buggers have slowly been sneaking things back in there that just don't belong and they are totally sabotaging me.  They thought I wouldn't notice, I guess, because I'm still plugging along and doing well.  I looked and there they all were -  soda, bad cheese, whole milk, more bad cheese.  Those are all the things that 'I can have just a little of as a treat.' yet they kept hanging around.  I still haven't figured out how they gnomes got them from the store to the house in those tiny wheelbarrows.

So this morning, coupons in hand of course, we did a clean up again and went shopping for my new food adventures.  It was good and I saved $58 by the way!  I think I can do it.  It will involve, though, two things that I'm not so good at:  getting up early, and preparing the night before.  I spent about two hours tonight cooking some things and getting them ready for tomorrow and the rest of the week.  It's just a new habit, I guess, that will take some getting used to.  Just pray for patience for my poor husband who has to wake me up a little earlier in the mornings now.

Kitchen sink post...

Still here. 
Still alive. 
Still working hard. 
Still studying. 
Still training and loving it. 
Still trying not to eat everything in the house and not loving that.  

Hold on to your hat, Jack! This is what I call the kitchen sink post. I'm going to dump the past couple of weeks on you here without writing 20 pages of things you all don't want to read:

Still here.

I'm still here! I haven't forgotten y'all.  My time management of late has been difficult; especially when I go from work to home to the gym to home for schoolwork and husband time and then I'm exhausted.  I am one tired girl, but I'm happy to be here.  I've been feeling great aside from the occasional headache and achy knee. We had a nice Easter with family which included my mother-in-law's lasagna,  a little mini hike up the mountain and my mom's Banana Pudding (which she modified just for me using fat free and sugar free stuff). It was still pretty damn good!  

WW and the team JAG girls are still working hard! I had an up week last week, but only .8 pounds so I'm ok with that for now. We are still down over 70 lbs as a group! 

Still alive.

Me, Jaime, and Cav-Man

Well - the 5k came and went this weekend and we survived! Jaime (the J in team JAG) and I had a great time and finished in just over 49 minutes, which is great! It was my first one ever, and her first in a very long time.  What a great experience! -And we have a little cheering section at the end too. I felt good afterward and even went to the gym for training - nothing crazy. I felt only a little sore this morning. I'm ready to do it again! 
...and I am. 
I'd love for y'all to join in. Here's the info on my next one - http://www.4thewounded5k.com.  It's for the Wounded Warrior Project on 6/1/13 and my team name is Team Truffle Shuffle. You can run or walk it - so come on!

Still training.

I'm still training and seeing some results. 
-And I still love it. Again, I'll ask as I have 80 times - Who am I???  Big A has me bumping up to an hour 3x per week now! (Just getting started with that) so it'll be interesting to see what I can do! It's kind of sad though, now, at the gym. All of those motivated people who were there in January are nowhere to be found.  Where are you people? Next door at the Dunkin' Donuts? Seriously though, that's kind of sad.  Not only are they cheating themselves out of some good choices, they're wasting their money. I hope they come back - it's so interesting to people-watch and see how people are changing physically. Thankfully, though, there is a crew of folks I always see and they are fun and are in to it. -Good motivator!

Well - as my husband would say, I'm so tired I'm about to start blowing bubbles. See y'all next time, and until then just ponder - WWOEWD?  What would One Eyed Willy Do?

Don't Give Up....Don't Ever Give Up.

As my friend Nita would say.. "So there I was...."  on the treadmill tonight in the gym. My goal tonight was a 30 minute session walking for 45 seconds and running for 1:15 (alternating).  I wasn't really tracking distance tonight I just needed my tired legs to complete a good 30 minutes with no pauses to huff and puff! I was doing well, listening to my secret husbands Justin Timberlake and Jay-Z and watching Sportscenter on the tv.  At 5-10-15-20-25 minutes I felt ok. Tired, but ok.  Then I started to slow down and sweat got in my eye and I said to myself "Self, you're good - go ahead and slow it down and hop off."

Then I looked up at the TV.  ESPN was marking the 20 year date of Jim Valvano's speech at the ESPY  awards.  There was a man who knew he was dying, could barely walk and still he managed to get there and inspire others.  I had to finish the 30! So I kept going and going for those last minutes while I watched the speech.  If Jimmy V can do what he did then, I can shuffle my sausage feet for 4 more minutes.  If you're not a huge sports fan, you may not have ever seen the speech.  You should check it out: http://www.jimmyv.org/about-us/remembering-jim/jimmy-v-espy-awards-speech/ .

We'll see how training and weigh-in goes this week. I feel like I've eaten nothing but carby carbs this past week.

Yes, yes I did.

I took the day off from the gym today (after completing my first 3 mile run/walk yesterday and still going at night to do upper body stuff). And I ate Cheetos after I finished writing my paper today. My fingers are still orange and I'm not sorry.

Numbers don't lie.

1
So another week down and I'm happy to say I'm a loser again!  I was down another pound last night at our WW weigh-in.  YAY! All of Team JAG was down again!

12
I've been attending WW now for 12 weeks. And I haven't missed a week of weighing in.

40 and 15

Lateral Pull Down

The number of pounds I 'pulled' on the lateral pulldown tonight at the gym. -3 sets of 15. -Big accomplishment for me! Of course, the guy who was on before me was flying 100 pounds up and down like it was nothing! I'm proud though! I did 15 knees-down (AKA 'girl') push ups as well during Big A time tonight.  Another good accomplishment for me. I'll keep building up and will be doing more and more hopefully.



47/43
Well, can you guess this one? I'll give you a hint. It's a ratio and a percentage; 47 and 43%.  It's what's written on my fat club membership card.  It's my BMI and my body fat percentage.  (Body Mass Index, and the percentage of your body that is straight up fat.)  My body is made up of 43% fat! That's about half! This is a number I needed but did not want to know.  But the time had to come, and Big A measured me up and used the little machine and that's what we're left with. 47 and 43%.  A healthy woman of my age and height should have a BMI around 24.  I'm almost twice that! Wow. And, by the way, a BMI over 30 is considered "obesity".  I'm such a stellar student, that I seem to have skipped that step and jumped right to "morbidly obese".  A BMI that high, combined with the fact that I am currently still 100% over my medically ideal body weight buts me in that class. We're getting out of there stat!  That may be the second wake up call I need to keep me going for a while.  So basically right now I have as much fat as I do skin, bones and organs. Not cool, body. Not cool.  He also measured me (which I didn't look at) and we'll re-visit all of these numbers periodically.  I'm going to push that number down!

5
5K suckassss! To add a little variety to my new routines I signed up for a 5k race today. BOOM!  I know it's a lofty challenge, but I've got a 5k buddy and we're going to try it. It is a walk/run so there's little pressure.  I know I can do the 3.2 mile distance.  My hope is that I can run some of it. I have about 8 weeks until the race and I'll be adding some jogging to my cardio workouts in between training sessions.   It's for the UVA Medical Center Pediatric Oncology Department which is a great cause.  If kids can fight cancer, I can shuffle my butt around UVA Grounds.  -And the more the merrier. Feel free to join us!  (Here's the info if you're interested - http://www.hoosheal.com/Race.aspx )




We have a long weekend ahead.  We're having all new windows installed tomorrow, thank you God! Our power bills for our tiny house have rivaled that of ones 10x our size. ( I'll be thankful to save some money (that we'll promptly give to the gym) and be a little more energy efficient.)  And we both have lots of homework to do for school.  I'm almost finished with my first graduate class and I couldn't be more excited! Plus Jason hit the under-a-year mark until he graduates.  Hard work and fun times ahead for Team Cavanaugh!

Well I'm about to start drooling on my laptop. 'Night y'all.

Exhale!

Thank you, baby Jesus! I made it through Christmas alive, well, well-fed and I still managed to be down another pound today at my weigh-in!  Pause. Exhale. Happy Dance.

It can be done! I can make it through a holiday without making myself miserable and filling myself with chocolate, bread, potatoes and cheese.  I did find myself staring at all the sinful foods; and thinking about them. A lot. Obsessed! Addicted!

My friends and I were talking about this over lunch today.  -And I think I've mentioned this before.  While I can't this is the same (having friends who have struggled with addictions of various types) but food addiction really does parallel other addictions pretty closely.  I'm making good progress, maintaining a good attitude and trying to get better, yet still all I can think about is F O O D. I am seriously going to talk to a professional about this.  I mean I've always been a little odd; okay, a lot odd but holy cow this is a little much!

Until I can sort my brain out, I will continue to try to do the right things.  I worked with my doctor and have found a good combo of vitamins and I can totally tell a difference in the way I've been feeling overall these past few weeks.  I, for real, did join the gym this week.  They open next week and I'm ready to roll!

Addendum, or Going Out With A Bang...

Here's Thursday update for you.  We weren't able to attend our first WW meeting last night so we will start tonight. Again, wish us luck!  I am still very proud of the work I've done so far but have decided I really need this structured jump start.  And since I'm going to jump start, my sick brain decided I'm going out in a blaze of glory (preach, Jon Bon Jovi!).

So there I was, in the car with my friend. We'll call her 'Floyd' for anonymity's sake. Low and behold, the car drives right to our closest 5 Guys restaurant!  I'll spare you the details but it was an ugly, barbeque sauce-covered mess.  With fries.  And a Coke.  Ok so we feel guilty, gross and bloated now, but it was soooo good!  It went a little something like this --------------------------->
No words that I type could convey my love for 5 Guys accurately but this guy does the trick! I'm convinced we would be best friends if we met.  From now on, when I want 5 Guys I'll just watch this instead.





Don't judge.  I'm addicted to food and you all already know that! Getting better....No more 5 Guys...

In off the ledge (or, A Niblet's Demise)...

Well I'm proud to say I'm back down to 276!!! I buckled down a little bit more since I last posted and feel a little better about my whole deal. -Just in time for Thanksgiving. Hopefully I can control myself, but y'all just don't know what mashed potatoes do to a big girl!

See - I'm not the only one...

I mean here's how sick I am. WAS. How sick I was. I'd have to have a giant pile of 'taters that had some height to it. Why? Duh...because I'd have to dig a hole and fill it full of butter and precious little corn niblets!! Then after a few bites with the nearest spork or other utensil, modern conveniences won't do and I have to start using my rolls ( yes plural ) to dip! You get the picture...do you need a cigarette? Whew! I sure do!

Not this year. I'll enjoy myself for sure; but no potato mountains. And I certainly won't be talking to the poor little niblets as they drown in Country Crock. -Not that I ever did that, I'm just sayin'...

All gluttony aside, though, I really do feel a little better. I'm finding that it's still tough keep these new habits in tact but I'm trying. I feel like I may need some sort of new jump start soon. Suggestions welcomed.

Now sorry to get mushy, but I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving and can spend some time with family and friends. My home-town community got hit with a harsh dose of reality this week with the sudden loss of a child. Things like this make one think hard about the ones closest to us. Just do me a favor and have a great time over the holidays, but think some good thoughts about folks who are struggling.

$hit just got real...

Well friends, this week has not gone so well regarding my new eating and exercise habits. As of today my weight is back up two pounds and my hips and sacroiliac area (you know, the bones/joints that look like a butterfly behind your butt) are in a great deal of pain. That's a big bummer. So how do I figure out the problem here and turn these setbacks into something I can use?

First, I did slack off late in the week with my exercise. This, of course, contributed to my lack of progress on the scale.  I'm thinking this literal pain-in-the-butt is coming from my shoes or my posture. I am going to have my walking/jogging posture and gait analyzed and likely will buy a new pair of shoes. We're going on a mini-vacation at the end of the coming week, though, so this will have to wait until payday when we get back.  {Contrary to popular belief, working for one of the top universities in the country does not have me swimming around in my money like Scrooge McDuck. :) }  So my budget will allow this after our trip  -Updates on this to come. Y'all don't let me forget!  I will, however, be back on the road starting tomorrow and every other day as long as Hurricane Sandy doesn't come in and ruin everyone's fun here in central Virginia. I'll just take it a little easier for a bit.

Casualties of (fat)War

Next, I was lucky enough to have some social outings this week with wonderful friends.  These, of course, generally revolve around two things (other than gossip):  food, and frothy beverages.  I really wasn't nearly as bad as I would normally have been, but I did enjoy myself.  We see how that turned out.

So I spent this wild Friday night  before blogging cleaning out our pantry.  I did let Jason, my husband and best supporter ever, keep his snacks within reason.  I was shocked at all of the absolute crap I have in this house to eat!  Not doing this on day one of my epiphany was a mistake.   Look at all of it!! Ugh. I just threw up in my mouth a little. I'm shooting myself in the foot! How can I be good with all of this here?
Answer:  I can't.  So it's out.  I'll always remember our love affair with fondness, Tony The Tiger.  I'm going to do better. -And I will get where I need to be.  I just needed another "a-ha" moment.  It's on now...

One more week down...

Well here we are again, y'all. It's Sunday. -Another week down that included a few bumps but as of this morning I am at 279.5! My fingers don't feel quite as sausage-like as I type today! :) Honestly, I haven't noticed any differences physically. I'm sure I'll have to get that number lower for that.

I'm very excited that I continue to make progress because, honestly, I thought after one week I would have screwed myself up somehow. That's not to say that I still haven't made some not-so-great choices or enjoyed a treat! I have.  I had a few beers with friends Friday night, but also chose to eat a light dinner to help myself out.  That's the balance I'm trying to create every day so that I don't make myself miserable along with everyone around me.  I'm not saying that I'm ok if I drink beer every day as long as I eat a plain grilled chicken breast.  I know better than that!

Walk buddy  - Leroy Jenkins

I also know that I need to begin to push myself now with the exercise part of this. I've been doing well but I'm going to have to start moving even more.  My dog seems to understand this since he's been brining me his leash and harness and giving me the stare-down every time I come in the house!

Making it through a home football Saturday was a little easier this week since we had an early game and I had to work.  Less temptation!!


I've noticed this week...

...that I'm not nearly as moody as I had been since the start of my
    little project

...that I'm not as stressed if I don't weigh myself every morning

...taking the candy jars off my desk at work brings me less visitors :( but it was really one of the best decisions I've made

...Justin Timberlake finally realized that I've moved on with my life without him so he hit rock-bottom and married that poor girl.


Goals for the coming week...

Move more!
Lots more water!
Cook more meals at home!
Check out other walking/jogging apps for my phone. My LoLo app isn't really cutting it for me anymore. Any suggestions?

Just Monday...

Leroy Jenkins

Long day.  Had a nice walk after work with my husband and Leroy Jenkins.  The good news of the day is that my weight was the same today - was thinking that my little bit of naughtiness on Saturday would catch up to me this morning.  Whew! OH - also - Blue the Fish (candy jar replacement) survived the weekend! Victory!

One last thing -- someone I know started blogging again but she hasn't posted since last week. Where are ya girl??

I didn't injure anyone today...

Well, Day 2 (really day 1 of new eating) is in the books.  No injuries to report. It's going to take a while for me to figure out how to keep myself satisfied throughout the day without literally stuffing myself full, but it wasn't too bad. I had a small skinny mocha (no whipped cream) on the way to work and a banana and granola bar for snacks.  Scary part of the day - I went out for lunch with the ladies to this place that has the best damn pizza! (Back off, I didn't order pizza) I had water and a nice sized salad with chicken, greens, pear, gorgonzola, tomatoes and a light dressing. Very good - and very filling! No big deal right?  Well all my girlfriends had pizza and it smelled so good - I really did catch myself drooling. So that combined with me thinking of my normal habits made it a little tough.

Let me fill you in on what I might normally have by the end of lunch on a random weekday:

• Multiple Cokes/Dr Peppers
• Some water
• The biggest Mocha I can find (no skim, and whipped cream yo)
• Sometimes breakfast - fast food biscuit and or hash browns
• Any number of treats from my two (yes two) candy jars on my desk. 
• Then lunch - whole 10-12 in. 'personal' pizza, fast food big ass value meal, giant sub sandwich with lots of cheese, mayo etc. Dessert is always in order of course!! 

See? All that we we've barely hit 1pm.  Pair that with afternoon snacking and delivery pizza, wings, steak subs, chips/dip, ice cream, snacky cakes and cheesey poofs at night and I don't even know how I could move around!

I'll add something, though, about lunch).  Eating with a crew who is fun and keeps the conversation going (which we had NO problem doing) makes it easier so you're not totally focused on the food, but on the company.

Lastly, a way to get rid of my candy jars on my desk fell in to my lap today. Meet Blue (You're my boy!!).  Someone at work pawned off a betta fish on me. It was a lab fish in one of our student athlete's classes and he was about to get a 1 way ticket to fish heaven because they were done doing whatever it is they do to lab fish.  Anyway, now he's mine and I put him in the spot were my candy usually is. Baby steps. Let's hope he hangs around for a while....and also that he doesn't turn in to some sort of mutant lab creature.

So many things to consider...

Ok, so I said in my first post that I would try to keep it short....not so much yet.  I'll learn the art of brevity, I promise.  -Just not today.  I want to talk about my plan, but first I wanted to talk about my weight again.  The actual number.  Many of the messages I got when I posted my first entry included phrases like "You're so brave! I can't believe you put your picture and weight out there!" or "I could never tell people how much I weigh!"  And until now I'd say the same thing to myself. In school or even when I was trying Weight Watchers way back, I panicked if anyone else got close to me that might see that dreadful number.  But here's the thing - I have to not be scared of the number itself anymore.  So, I tore the band-aid off.  What's really scary to me (other than my current weight) is the fact that the number has been higher than it is now; and how high it could go if I don't do something about it now.  So if you think I'm brave, that's cool.  And maybe somebody else can be brave too if I can stick with this and show y'all something. On to my plans!

Holy cow!  There are so many things to consider with this lifestyle change I'm determined to make.  Do I focus on diet not exercise? Vice versa? Which 'diet' do I choose? There's the Caveman Diet, Atkins, Raw Food, Gluten Free, Ketogenic Diet...meat meat meat....no meat! no meat!...potatoes, no potatoes!...vegetarian...vegan...Weight Watchers...monthly fee...weekly fee...on and on...Good Lord, no wonder people give up before they even start!

Here's what I've decided so far:  To start, I'm focusing on exercise and simply making better food choices in general instead of starting two hard-core new things at once. I don't think I could deal that way.

Exercise
Burning some calories is going to be my main focus at the beginning.  I am not mobile at all! I always have good intentions and I start to walk for a few days and then I find excuses not to do it. I actually worked my way through our local 4-miler training program a few years back, was able to get up to 4-miles (slowly jogging and a little walking if I remember correctly), AND completed the 'dress rehearsal' run prior to the actual 4 Miler race. Guess what - never did the race, and I haven't run since then. Who does that???? -Me, I guess.  What a waste.

Lake Monticello - my 11 mile goal

I have to get moving, find some energy and get some good habits going.  I'm finally getting a bike to ride around our neighborhood.  I downloaded a neat fitness app for my phone that will guide me through a walking and jogging (when I'm ready) work out using my own music. This way Dave Matthews and Joss Stone can run with me and I'll feel like I have company.  I'm also hoping to get the other half of Team Cavanaugh out on the road with me.  :0)  I am going to take small (no sweat) walks at work at lunch time, etc.  My goal is to work my way up to comfortably jogging/running again. This may take some patience because my knees and hips are jacked up from hauling the rest of me around.  I also want to, eventually, bike and walk/run around the lake where we live which is almost 11 miles.  As long as I feel like I'm actually working and not cheating, I'm not going to put a date deadline on these things.  So the walking starts tomorrow...and the pedaling starts when the bicycle gets here.  What am I going to name my bike?

Food
I'm not ready to commit to a paid diet service nor do I want to dive head first into a strict new diet program while trying to do new exercise things.  I know that about myself.  Immediately doing a 180 degree turn will only set me up to get mad and quit when I feel completely deprived. I refuse to fail for the 100th time.  I want this on my shoulders - with no 'program' to try and blame if I screw up.

I know it's not the same so don't think I do - but I feel like someone who has made the decision ween him/herself off of pain medicine or something like that.  If I slowly back away while making better choices and holding myself accountable, I can more easily transition to a complete diet makeover over time.

My work lunches definitely need a makeover! I will eat out a little less and pack my lunch more. I have to have some sort of vegetable with every meal.  No exceptions. I need more water.  I need more protein and less bread. I need less sugar and JUNK FOOD (My diet, as much as I try to justify what I eat, is 85% junk food.)  I need more natural fruits.  To start, I just need to freakin' pay attention to what's going in my pie hole! I am making one 'drastic' change right now:  No more soda. I did do this before and I swore I was going to die and back to the Coke I went! Soda is gone! Now! Advil may have to be my best friend for the next few days.


So it's a start! Here we go...