Long, strange trip. Long post. Year in review.

Whoa. I've been at this for a year, y'all!  Don't want to read all 50-something posts to catch up? Well here's the review for you:

On October 7, 2012 I had had enough.  I was about to turn 35. No chair was comfortable. I couldn't sit like a lady. (And you all know I am a proper lady)  My monster calves had eaten my ankles.  I couldn't walk up the stairs or through the parking lot at work without huffing and puffing.  The last time I had been on a roller coaster, the Rams were in the Super Bowl and Pau Gasol was drafted by Atlanta.  

I was on 4 different medications for different issues.  I was wearing a size 26 (sometimes 26/28).  I knew I wanted to change things but really had no idea how I was going to do that. -So I started typing.

As I began to write blog posts and receive tremendous report from those close to me and strangers alike, things started to fall in to place. I started to research, move, make different food choices, and try to establish even a hint of a good habit or two.  I set some reasonable "loose" goals so that I wouldn't set myself up for failure.  My husband supported me 180% (because he's wonderful!!) and I joined forces with two great friends to start Weight Watchers and have a support team in them that cannot be beat! Go Team JAG!

In January I was finally brave enough to join a gym - Anytime Fitness.  I could barely go for more than 2 minutes on the elliptical machine.  I did have the desire to do things and get stronger, but I realized I needed some help.  Enter Big A, the trainer. My coach. My gym security blanket. My homey for life. And, now, a wonderful friend both inside and outside of the gym; along with his family.  I started training last winter with Big A and have been challenged and sometimes frustrated.  I have, however, gotten stronger and I continue to do new things and get better at tasks I could barely do a year ago.  I keep wondering how this is working when nothing else has?  First, there was no intimidation, only encouragement.  Big A has been a crucial part of my support system. Why? Absolutely. No. Negativity.  -And she smacks me down why I try to let anything negative slip out.  Second, there has never been pressure about specific goals or specific weights (unless it came from me), but instead he helps me focus on challenging myself and simply getting better every day and remembering where I started.  -That simple.  He has to remind me of that often.  The man also has the 'patience of Job' to be able to deal with me and my bullshit multiple times per week. I will never be able to thank him enough. I share my silliness and my little victory moments with him all the time, but I don't know if he'll really ever know just how much I appreciate him for helping me save my life.  Big, big fist-bumps to you, Big A. 

Yes, it has put a financial strain on us to train, etc. but it is worth it many times over.  Thank God for my sweet husband and his support of all that I do.  

Outside the gym and training, I have learned to love running and want to get better at it. 

So a year is now behind me. I turn 36 in a few days.  My God, 36 seemed like an eternity away even just a few years ago!  So I'll spend a few days by the water to celebrate (thanks to the bestest friend ever!) and then I'll get back to work to begin a new year of challenges.  I will continue being coached by Big A. I will continue with WW and my Team JAG girls.  I'll learn to be a better runner, especially with my new running partner, Bear Cavanaugh. I'll continue to FEEL BETTER and get stronger.

So what else is there to say? Oh yeah - F I N A L L LY -  

I hit 50 pounds lost. When I wrote my first post I was sitting at 288 pounds on my home scale.  I stepped on that same scale on September 30th, and saw the cutest number ever: 237.5.  Exhale! That's huge. Huge! I've never, ever lost more than 5 or 10 pounds and it always came back and them some.  This is so, so promising.  It definitely doesn't mean that I'm finished. -But it means that I can do it and I can keep going.  I have (probably) about 70 more pounds to go before I can say I have reached my weight goal and can start working to maintain that.  There's another year or two of work to be done to get there I think.  I'm happy with slow and steady; though I still reserve the right to complain every now and then if I'm frustrated.  :) Oh, and the Redskins shirt - I'm not quite there yet but almost.  It goes over my boobs and my guts now! -Just too tight to wear to the Food Lion, though I'd fit right in on some days. I'll get there.  I'm happy with my size progress. I'm now in an 18. In fact, my friend just gave me a pair of size 18 jeans. Button fly. That's never gone on this body before, and I may never take them off.  I told her I was so excited because I didn't even have to lay down to try and button them! 

Side Story:   When we were in high school and even a little after, I was always so sad that I couldn't shop at American Eagle with all of my friends.  That store was the stuff in the 90's in Charlottesville.  If you didn't have a few outfits from there, at least, you could kick rocks.  I owned one, ONE, item from that store back then. It was a men's flannel shirt (I LOVED that thing) that I wore, unbuttoned of course, to death.  Guess where those button fly jeans are from, y'all? Now I may be to too old to shop there, but I don't care, I will anyway. I promise, though, not to go out and find a HyperColor body suit on Ebay to wear just because I may be able to.  


I'm also happy with my general health progress. I'm taking no meds, except for the unexpected few I had to get this past week.  Grrrr! -But I'm done with those and learning to de-stress. Hopefully that won't happen again. 

My cholesterol, blood sugar, blood pressure and thyroid levels all came in at "Girl, who are you? Did someone else take this test for you?"-numbers a couple of weeks ago at my latest screening. 



I feel good right now. I'm so thankful for all of the support that all of you (who take the time to read my craziness) have given me.

Stay tuned for more updates; major, minor, odd, and unecessary. It's going to be a good year.

I'm not one to wait 'til the end of a project for thank-you's.  Thank you all (and I hope I forget no one) for the help, the kind words, the laughs, the Tweets, the challenges, the "just checking on you", the "I'm proud of you", and the thoughts/prayers you sent my way this past year. Many of you have/had more important things to worry about but you took time out for me and I appreciate it.

Puddles, my sweet husband          Alfred (Big A) and Julie
My Momma                                  Genevieve
My Momma-In-Law and Pops          Sloane
Missy                                           Michelle                                       
Jaime                                         The 2 Angies in my life - Angela & Angie
Corey                                          Erin
Ana                                             Gloria
Rosita                                          Lynette
Sharon                                         Jenna-Jean
Teresa                                         Butch
Amanda                                       Flip
Heidi                                           Justin
...plus anyone I can't think of right now with Sunday brain, and of course many of you who sent me private messages who would kick my butt if I mentioned you here. 

Progress...

...is a good thing!

Pardon the interruption...

Sorry to pull you away from whatever you're doing, but I have something to say.  I am not the girl who's going to lose 100 pounds in 6 months or anything close to that example!

To me, this whole journey is about creating a new life. New behaviors.  New habits.  It's not about how fast I can lose a bunch of weight, or how much I can torture myself to get there. (Not to say that some days are downright awful)  Yes, I think it's awesome that you lost 20 pounds in 2 weeks eating nothing but canned tuna and water with lemons and cayenne pepper in it.  I also am excited for your niece (or friend, momma, aunt Fannie....) who recently went on a baby food diet (Slim Fast, cleanse, insert other food replacements here...) and lost 60 pounds in 2 months.  I think it's awesome that you lost 30 pounds in a month going to the gym 3-4 times a day.  -But that's not me, sister.

Those quirky quick-fix diets are interesting solutions, but they are temporary.  The faster the pounds fly off, the faster they can come back.  People tell me about all of these "success" stories when I'm having frustrating days, like recently when I keep hovering around 50 pounds lost!  Yes, I could grab of these solutions and sail past 50 this week....but it'll be back next week as soon as I put down the cayenne pepper.  I'm a slow and steady kind of girl. And that's working for me.  I know I'm approaching a year and there are folks who have lost a lot more weight in less time, but I'm doing this slow-jam style so it sticks! I would love nothing more than to be able to go to the gym for 1/2 a day every day but I am not fortunate enough to be able to do that.  -More power to those of you who are.

Just remember that it's not fast; it's not easy.
But that way, it's permanent.
I know I'll get there.
So don't rush me.

Now. I did say slow-jam, up there somewhere.  So I have to post one of my all time favorites! (Woohoo, 1995!) Jon B. (Featuring Babyface) - Someone To Love.

Happy Thoughts and Green Armpits

So I washed off the funk of weigh-in day with my next 5k.  We did the Color Run in Richmond and had a ball.  Not only did we get to get messy, (My armpits are still green and I'm still digging purple out of my ears.)  but it was our best 5k yet!  There were a few little victories had:

1. Ran 2 miles, no stoppage.
2. Only stopped (and was walking briskly) for a brief moment on a hill but got back to it immediately.      

3. PR!! We did the race in just over 40 minutes!  Big deal for these girls!

Yesterday's race makes me feel better about jumping to 8k and 10k soon.  We are going to do a zombie run next month and then I'll be starting to train for a longer distances.   Wait. Who am I?

Jaime and I all clean pre-race.

3 miles later...

Duck face. Yes, evidently I'm a 12 year old!

Progress

I've been fiddling with those collage apps.  I'm going to start making some progress photo files to keep myself more organized. Here's a peek!

Here's what you're looking at.
1. 7/2012- between 287 & 300lbs.
2. 10/2012- about 285lbs. 
3. & 4.  9/1/2013 - 237lbs.

1. 10/2012 - about 285lbs.
2. 7/5/2013 -248 lbs.
3. 9/1/2013 - 237lbs.
4.  9/7/2013 - 237lbs.

I'm going to hopefully be making a lot of these soon showing different things.

Strangers at Subway (Every sub has a silver lining)

Ruby Pearl Cavanaugh, my trusty blogging assistant
showing the world what she thinks of my work.

I wasn't planning to post this week because of my beef with my scale and my bit of laziness, lack of good sleep, and a broken fridge issue over the past week. But, alas, something nice came about and ruined a perfectly good pissy attitude so here I am; laid back blogging with the dog and the laptop.

Construction of a Wednesday crappy attitude:

Layer 1
GDD. Gym Deficit Disorder.  If you recall, I had a tiny increase on the scale last week and my trainer was on vacation.  While I did mostly keep up with cardio  on my own while Big A was away I barely hit the gym for over a week.  (We started back, thank God, this Monday)  I put in some good miles on the road but I could definitely tell a difference in my energy and attitude.  I'm sure my husband did too. -Love you, boo!

Layer 2
FF. Fridge Fail.  Our refrigerator died and we were without one for a a little over a week.  Do you know how hard it is to eat healthy foods, that you generally have to cook, without cold stuff?  Of course it was much easier to just eat out that take extra steps to eat all of the healthiest choices.  It got ugly. Italian restaurant ugly.  This lead to layer three even though I've been back on track for a few days with food.

Layer 3
WWF.  No, not Words With Friends-  Weight Watchers Fail.  I'm further away from 50 lbs lost than I was last week. That's no shocker given the events leading up to my weigh-in today.  What was a shock was my open-mouthed Napoleon Dynamite "GossssH" when I saw the number.  Really? How was I shocked? I knew what was going to happen! The good thing is it wasn't damage that isn't reversible and I'll have that number back where it needs to be by the next time I show my face in there.

There it is. -Three layers of piss and vinegar. A few other things also didn't go my way between the time I left work and the end of my 25 mile commute and made me want to drive right by Anytime Fitness and go straight to the end that road to the BBQ joint for buckets of mac-and-cheese.  But I didn't.  My evening plans had changed so I went in for Big A training and of course felt great after.

My attitude was starting to turn around when I went to our neighborhood Subway after my workout.  Usually about once a week we 'treat' ourselves to Subway.  I always go sweaty and in my soaked gym clothes.  I'm sure those people get tired of seeing me in lycra. Anyway.  There is one lady who is always there at the same time as me. I don't know her and she never speaks.  Tonight, she did.  As I ordered she said "Honey, I just don't know why you even get that sandwich when you're not goin' to put no cheese or mayne-aze on it! Wouldn't be worth it to me. Nuh uh! I love mayne-aze too much!" She was so cute!  I told her I was working on my health, etc. She said she had noticed me come in and out of there for while and she thought I was always coming from the gym or somewhere- and that she had noticed a difference in the way I looked and that I should keep up the good work and not go to Subway too much! How sweet was that!? I thought that was thoughtful and encouraging.  She cracked me up! It really did wash the stank right off of me!

So things are turning around.

What else?

• The yard sale was great and I re-homed a lot of clothes that don't no longer fit me.
• We're 23 days away from football kick-off and less than 20 days away from soccer season!
• Oh, and this:  

I love her!

Wish me luck this week!

When you have a day that goes to the crapper...

Back to the blog: The case of the bad time manager

Oh. My. Stars.

It's been too long since I've posted! I've meant well all along, taking notes and making notes but man life has smacked me in the face hard-core.  By the time I'm home from work and/or the gym and I finish school work, I'm toast.  Dry, crusty, tired toast.  I'm going to pencil in more time to blog - because it helps me stay accountable and some you actually enjoy reading it, though I don't know why!

Me and Jaime at our latest 5k in June.

First, it's my 9 month mark of starting this crazy business, and my 6 month gym anniversary.  I didn't think I'd ever be typing that. That said, doing this and walking through those gym doors are the best decisions I've ever made, next to marrying my sweet husband.  I had another little victory in June with completing another 5k.  It was tough because it was very hilly and it was 200 degrees out that day.  Thank God for Jaime who made me shuffle my feet.

So let's start with the latest "breakthrough" moment. Jason and I went to a beautiful wedding yesterday and had an absolute ball!  What's the big deal?  I've been to very, very few weddings since my own.  A year or two ago I would have tried like hell to find something else to do (sending a gift, of course), or prayed for diarrhea so we wouldn't have to go.  Why? Shopping for dress clothes is horrible and should be outlawed! It got really old trying to find dresses in size 26, etc. as most them fell in to two categories:   moo-moo and great-grandmother-of -the-bride.  Who wants to wear those? And also, God forbid someone might snap a photo. Ew.

So lately I feel better, and am wearing a size 20 and even a smaller shoe size oddly enough.  I was able to find a cute dress and heels (yes, Lord, heels!) and I didn't feel like a big weirdo.  We had a great time with friends, and happily got over this little past hurdle.  Any night that ends with you walking with your shoes in your hands was a good one.

Me and the Mr. at the wedding 7/5.

I hope I'll be breaking the size barrier soon, and getting down to the 'teens.  I've got to step up a little bit to get back on the pace at which I was a few weeks ago.  Vacation was great - I managed to eat fairly well, exercise, and when I came back I had lost a few pounds.  Woohoo! That was mid-June.  I've had both up and down weeks since then but I'm still moving in the right direction.  I am starting to flirt with a big number - 50 pounds. (Did I say that out loud?)  I may actually be there by the end of the summer. I have about 12-ish pounds to go.  My team JAG girls are doing well too, and as a team we've lost almost 100 pounds between the three of us.

Training is still great. My trainer is still great because I'm a pain in the ass and he puts up with me. I'm being challenged a bit more and I'm hanging in there.  I love it. I may be a little addicted. And I know I'll keep getting better.  Where I need work, again, is with food.  I haven't been following my food plans as closely lately and it directly affects the scale.  Working on that....starting....now.

Keep calm and don't eat the cheese fries...

This is one of those good news/bad news posts; though I have to remind myself that there really is no bad news as long as I am working hard.

Well let's start with the good news:
I was down 2 pounds at WW weigh in this week.  That was an unexpected gift because I didn't feel any lighter! (You laugh, but sometimes you do feel when you're a pound or two down.)

And now, let's call it the other news instead of bad news:
Big A and I had a date with the measuring tape yesterday.  We revisited the measurements and info. he took down in February to see how I had progressed.  I was disappointed.  I didn't cry.  I sure as hell wanted to, but I prefer to be a tough character if I can because all crying does is make my nose run.  Some numbers were better, some the same, and some a little worse.  Based on my gym work-ethic I just really thought I would have progressed a little bit more on paper.  
Bummed.  
Totally bummed.  
It didn't change anything.  I still want to do this, and I'm still working/going to work hard.  So what do we do? We're still going to work hard 3 times per week, and I need to work a little harder on my own (between work, homework, husband, sleep...). I'm also going to try a new food plan courtesy of Big A. I'm still a proud WW girl, and this new plan should fit just fine in my points system. I'll do yet another cleansing of the fridge and pantry this weekend and start from scratch on Monday.  This may be what I need for a new jump-start, especially after a lot of eating out this week.  

There's a little motivation for this new start too. Our gym is running a "biggest loser" style contest that started this week (that's why we started over with new measurements and such). I want to win it. Period.  Ask my husband, there's not much I like more in this world than winning.  We'll see - I'm going to bust my butt, though, that's for sure.

So I just need to remember that I'm doing well - and I've come a LOOOOONNG way since that first time I walked in the door of Anytime Fitness in January.  I feel better.  Measurements aside, my clothes are starting to not fit or fit differently.  I also worked out with person who is new to the gym this past week and, even though she is quite a bit smaller than me, I was able to spot areas where have improved a lot compared to someone just starting out.  (Thanks, Big A, for pointing that out to me.)

What else?

As usual, school is kicking my butt but my two classes end next Friday.  That means this coming week is going to be tough.   Whew!   Then I'll get a school break for a whole weekend before two more classes start up for eight weeks; oh yea, and then a third will overlap the last two weeks of those two classes. Good times. Deep breaths. 

Take THAT 6th grade PE class!

Are y'all ready for this?

First, I'm a bit superstitious when it comes to my sports teams.  I missed the last Tuesday home game (in order to keep my gym appointment with Big A) for my Wahoos and they won.  Tonight I did the same thing. The outcome of the game is still being determined at this moment as I type, but there were two huge victories for my in the gym tonight!!

So I do a lot of circuits with my trainer; one or two minute intervals moving from drill to drill for anywhere between five and ten minutes depending on what we're doing.  Well we were setting up to get started and he springs it on me.  Two of my six circuits are things I'm terrified of:  Pull Ups and Sit Ups.

These have been my nemeses since elementary school.  As a rotund little sixth grader, I loved PE class for the social aspects of it.  I did NOT love any other thing about it, except kickball.  We had this dreadful PE teacher, Mr. Wells,  who was honestly horrible to everyone.  This pig of a man should have never been allowed around women or children. Ever.  When I couldn't run fast he would tell me "Sims, if that was a Big Mac you'd be runnin' after it.." That was one of the tamest things I remember, and it was worse when we had to do that mandatory physical fitness testing; which included the dreaded pull up and sit up.   I don't recall ever being able to do a single pull up, and I was never ever able to do a sit up even with a partner holding my feet.  Every time I just basically laid or stood where I was hoping for the minute to be over really quickly so he'd shut up and I could go back to my corner.  You can imagine my disinterest from there on out in anything related to those exercises.

Well - tonight, covered in the most sweat ever, I did it.  I didn't do many at all. And I struggled.  I made foul noises. But I did them!  Both of them. One right after the other! I was beating myself up a little bit as we were winding down until Big A reminded me that it doesn't matter how many I did or didn't do- I just 'did' it. And I'm getting stronger.  (And not to make myself sound cooler, but I've been a little sick for a few days too. So there!!!)   It's little victories like this that make me want to keep working.  After I started to feel better I really wanted to do the truffle shuffle in the middle of the gym.

Tomorrow is WW weigh in day with team JAG. :)  We will see what happens - I've done okay this week with food, etc. but haven't been as hard-core as I was last week. I'll let you know...

So in closing:  Mr. Wells can shove it.  Sit ups and Pull ups can shove it.  And VPI can shove it - my Hoos won! Wahoowa!

Way to go Wahoos! You keep wining, I'll
keep going to the gym!

Best. Week. Ever. Mostly.

So I would normally wait until Sunday to post but I'm excited about some things.  How about some bullets or numbers so I don't get too wordy? Who am I kidding, I'll probably still ramble..

1. Since I last posted I completed two very hard workouts with Big A. Tough. Tonight I even got a little dizzy; but that's what happens when one forgets to keep breathing!! I didn't do them perfectly or in a super-speedy amount of time but, again, I did them. I finished them. And I didn't go eat fries after. I'll be on my on in the gym until Monday.
2. The best husband ever (Mine!) came to the gym with me tonight. This is a new development. He did awesome at some cardio while I was busy forgetting to breathe.
3. My WW girls are just too awesome. Today, thanks to one of use, we now have a name. We are now forever Team JAG! Things are much more fun when there's a theme or a team name everybody knows that! We were all DOWN this week at WW weigh in! That makes me so happy. We make each other accountable and we encourage and laugh so much! Team JAG is working hard!  Last week when I gained weight I swear part of it was because I wasn't in touch with them as much as I usually am during our week. This week the extra texting and the work in the gym (plus lots more water and apples!) paid off:  are y'all ready? From last Wednesday to this Wednesday I lost  6.8 POUNDS!!!!!! BOOM!  Now I know this won't happen all the time but I worked really hard and was so excited to be rewarded.  And yes, that one packet of Oreos is still in the kitchen. 

When I fit in to the 'Skins shirt we are somehow buying front row seats to Washington/Dallas in DC! 

Looking back at the week: Ups and Downs

Tuesday, 1/29

It's all about balance...

...and I don't have it!!

Big A took off the kid-gloves last night and I've been moving like a three toed sloth all day. I'm not posting today so I can whine, but so I can give you all the funniest mental image:   big girl on a ball.

In front of the whole gym and all its mirrors he had me do a series of activities that I like to call The Plus Sized Circus.  I was like a clapping seal trying to perform with only one flipper and asthma attack.

Like this - but with the grace of a Rhino

There were four circuits that will likely seem harmless to someone who is more physically fit, but I was a bit terrified. First, I had to use a resistance strap to do some bicep curls. Next, I had to squat and dangle a kettle bell between my legs and then raise it high. (And for some reason while I was doing this each time, all I could think of was my friend Wendy and what she'd be saying to me if she were there. She has lots of fun analogies.)  Then there's the ball. Half of a ball to be exact.   I was required to stand on the bottom of it, balance, and squat. I'll give you a moment to craft your mental images of me on this devil of a ball. I wobbled and bobbled, huffed and puffed. But I did it. I did it. I finished the workout. I didn't complain, I didn't quit, and I didn't say I can't.  -And even better, Big A didn't quit on me.  This was the first workout like this we have done prior to me making a longer commitment to our sessions and he had the option to say "Yeahhhh....about that. This isn't gonna work out." But he didn't. So giddy up! What I did tonight was the toughest thing (physically) I've ever done.  That is crazy because these 'little' tasks are no problem for some folks.  Big A has his work cut out for him for sure!

Wednesday, 1/30

There is a big middle finger drawn on my calendar for today.  I was up almost 4 pounds on the WW scales tonight! What the  (*&^%$#@!!@#$.  I was so mad. BUT I realized that even though I have been busting it in the gym day after day I definitely hadn't been drinking enough water during the last week and I probably need to ramp up on my fruits and veggies.  This was the first time this has happened.  I'm just going to pretend today didn't happen.  And the numbers will be significantly down next Wednesday! Don't worry, my jacket still zips! Next.

Thursday, 1/31

I feel a little better on WW after discussing with Big A.  Oh, and p.s. I'm a fighting machine! Thank you, God for not putting me back on the balance ball tonight!  I'm sure it will show up again when I least expect it to kick my butt.  I had to use a floor ladder to do some squatting in-and-out, stepping/jumping in and out.  That didn't seem to difficult, except when I look straight down I can't exactly see my feet as they are covered up by Regina and Latoya.

I did some similar exercises as I did on Tuesday but there was a twist!! Violence.  Okay, structured violence against Big A and a legless dummy.  I did timed windows of throwing punches, throwing a dummy down and punching him (I'll name him Willy, I think.) repeatedly in the head area, and wrapping my legs around him while on my back and, again, repeatedly punching him in the head area.  Again, I'll let you take a moment for that mental image and chuckle.  It. Was. Awesome.  Granted, I was panting and smelled like a junkyard dog in August but after I could breathe and speak again I felt awesome!  I slept really well, imagine that.

Friday, 2/1

OUCH. Damn you, Willy.

Saturday, 2/2

I went to the gym and it started snowing like crazy! I stayed. Who am I?

Sunday 

Well I can move on to today since a horrible non-call just screwed the 49ers out of a Super Bowl win.  That's a real bummer.  I tell you what, though, I'm buying stock in Colin Kaepernick.  I like that kid.   At least Ray Lewis is now gone from the game as a player! I'm sorry - I'm one of those crazy people who thinks that character counts and I could just never get beyond that with him.

Anyway, no major eating downfalls this weekend which is great! The weekends seem to be the toughest.  I had a lot of school work to do and that helped distract me from the one small pack of Oreo cookies that I know are in the kitchen! (And yes, they are still there.)  This week I'm going to keep it moving in the gym and I'm going to pump myself full of water and apples! We'll see what happens at weigh-in on Wednesday.  I'm really glad I didn't just toss the whole rest of the week down the tubes after Wednesday. I'm just working stuff out.

Before I doze off - thank you to those of you I saw in passing this week at the store, or the game, etc. who asked how things were going.  I appreciate it. And I need it!  Because, even with the hurdles, things ARE going well. And they are better when I know people are watching. It keeps me honest. :)

The Gym, The Goal, and The NorthFace Jacket.

I'm still here folks! It has been a while, but I've had some major operator error going on over here! I wrote a few posts, but saved and never clicked the publish button! Doh! So, I trashed those and will try to update you all tonight in one post.  Thank you to those of you who called me out on not posting! I need you! I'm back in school now, in a Master's program, so I'm going to have to really try and manage my time better.

First of all, I'm down to 271 as of last Wednesday! Looking back at my first post, at 287 pounds, I've now lost over 5% of my body weight! Whoa, big girl!!I'm hoping to have a little bit of a lower number this week but we'll see - I did have an awful lot of Trader Joe's Olive Oil Popcorn (Oh Dear Lord, it's like Crack!!!!!)

I've had a few ups and downs, but I'm still moving in the right direction! Our little Weight Watchers group has grown to three and we are having a ball! We laugh and carry on during our meetings (which the other folks love, I'm sure) and we text during the week to keep each other on the ball.  We talk about anything from underwear to poop to good snacks we found; and sometimes we just lust after British chocolate.

I know a lot of people are anti- point counting but it does work when you stick to it.  Plus having friends who are "suffering" with me is awesome!!  I do find myself drifting sometimes but my choices are still not nearly as bad as they used to be! Now, a few more things before I go:

The Gym
Yep, I'm still going. I try to check in on 4square every time I'm there (though I forget sometimes).  It's tough, I won't lie, but I'm starting to like it.  My trainer, I think I'll start calling him Big A here, says things will start to click when I start to LOVE it.  Well, the gym and I are 'going-together', but it hasn't seen me naked yet, so we're not quite in love. And yep, I have a trainer.  We're just getting started but I think it will work.  Though I thought he may be softy just from appearances it turns out I was sooo wrong! Yeah....turns out he's an actual drill sergeant body-builder who also fights (or fought) MMA. Needless to say, I don't think he's going to take any crap off of me.  I know it's going to work though, because he asked me a trivia question about Footloose and ( OF COURSE ) I got it right much to his surprise. I'm sure we're going to have fun.
I have had a few little gym victories so far. I have had no trouble at all on the bikes or treadmill, but the eliptical has plagued me! I started out with a max of three minutes on that monster a few weeks ago. Now I'm up to 20 minutes if I want! Very very cool feeling! I'll keep y'all posted on my training sessions as they kick in to high gear. I'm sure there's some humor about to go down.

The Goal

Ok, so other than my goal to bike around the lake, which is still on the table, I hadn't been ready to set any other goals for myself until now.  Weight Watchers has calculated goals, but I'll let them deal with that.  Taking the advice of the drill sergeant, I found a goal to work toward right now that is not a number. That goal is this Redskins shirt.  In size XL.  Yep.  That's my next goal. I want to wear it and not look like I'm smuggling hams out of the country store.  I'm currently wearing a 3X-4X in some things! That may take a while and that's ok. -But I'll have it and I can see it and touch it.

The North Face Jacket

My jacket with the scarf for boob and gut coverage!

Speaking of clothes...I do have something good to report.  Close to two years ago, I needed a good jacket and was having the worst time finding one! Finally, I got tired of looking and I invested in a nice navy blue North Face jacket (you know, because all the cool kids have one!).  I bought the jacket (in 3x) and hoped for the best.  It arrived and, of course, did not zip. It barely covered half of my boob, much less anything else!  But I kept it because my choices were so limited and I didn't want to buy a cheapo jacket that wouldn't last.   So I've worn it with a scarf, etc.  since I got it  and just didn't zip it.   WELL- Finally, this weekend it zipped for the first time! All the way up to my nose! Hot damn! Now it's tight, but it zipped! Happy dance!!



Well - still moving in the right direction, but still need your support! I'll check in next week.

Exhale!

Thank you, baby Jesus! I made it through Christmas alive, well, well-fed and I still managed to be down another pound today at my weigh-in!  Pause. Exhale. Happy Dance.

It can be done! I can make it through a holiday without making myself miserable and filling myself with chocolate, bread, potatoes and cheese.  I did find myself staring at all the sinful foods; and thinking about them. A lot. Obsessed! Addicted!

My friends and I were talking about this over lunch today.  -And I think I've mentioned this before.  While I can't this is the same (having friends who have struggled with addictions of various types) but food addiction really does parallel other addictions pretty closely.  I'm making good progress, maintaining a good attitude and trying to get better, yet still all I can think about is F O O D. I am seriously going to talk to a professional about this.  I mean I've always been a little odd; okay, a lot odd but holy cow this is a little much!

Until I can sort my brain out, I will continue to try to do the right things.  I worked with my doctor and have found a good combo of vitamins and I can totally tell a difference in the way I've been feeling overall these past few weeks.  I, for real, did join the gym this week.  They open next week and I'm ready to roll!

I'm still here...

I've not been holding up my end of the bargain with my posts! It seems there are actually some of you out there reading this; and calling me out when I'm not updating the blog.  Honestly with all the crazy events going on in the U.S. I didn't really feel like my whining and documentation really needed to be out there.  My suffering is pretty minimal when you think about.  Since my last post on the 12th, I'm down about 5 (ish) more pounds. -Great little Christmas present to myself!

I'm hanging in there and working the program but still having crazy (and I mean CRAZY) food cravings and other weird happenings.  I'm telling y'all, being a food addict is no joke.  My WW buddy had to talk me off the pigs-in-a-blanket ledge via text message the other day!

I've decided to add a little more structure to my fitness attempts - I'm joining the gym.  There is finally an option out in the country where we live there will work for me.  The sad thing is, I have free access to a gym, etc. at my job but I just can't do it! It's just strange to me...

Anyway, I'll be checking in again before New Year's Eve.  I hope you all have a great Christmas!

Slow and Steady and Call Me In The Morning...

I was waiting until tonight to post as it was my second Weight Watchers weigh-in.   I was down 1 pound at my first weigh-in (My WW buddy lost 5 her first week! Go G!)  -And tonight I type to you 4.8 more pounds lighter! That is so promising because I haven't been very active in the past week.  I know I'm eating well enough to keep my body working! WW is going well and I like it - so I'm going to keep it up.  When I went years ago I felt it was a bit judgy and annoying.  Is judgy an actual word, by the way?  So far I feel that there is ample support there if one needs it; but no one hovers and smothers.  Anyone else want to join us? I have a coupon for a friend! P.S. cutting coupons in front of the TV is a great substitute for bad snacks.

Other than my slow, but steady, progress I've thrown in one small towel and started working with my doctor(s) about things that I may not be able to fix completely on my own with or without food.  I've got a few more appointments to get through and some reading to do. Hopefully, I'll have some good news to share on that front soon. No, I'm not knocked up and, no, I'm not having surgery! 

Remember when I said back in October that I was going figure it all out on my own, etc.? I never planned on being anti-medicine and anti-diet program but I did need to prove to myself that I was serious.  Losing some pounds and starting to exercise on my own and sticking with is (except for my one night stand with 5 Guys) was my way of doing just that.  Now that I know I can help myself out - I can use other methods too. I'll check in again in a few days, y'all.  

Until then, here's what I'm obsessed with at the moment. 

Addendum, or Going Out With A Bang...

Here's Thursday update for you.  We weren't able to attend our first WW meeting last night so we will start tonight. Again, wish us luck!  I am still very proud of the work I've done so far but have decided I really need this structured jump start.  And since I'm going to jump start, my sick brain decided I'm going out in a blaze of glory (preach, Jon Bon Jovi!).

So there I was, in the car with my friend. We'll call her 'Floyd' for anonymity's sake. Low and behold, the car drives right to our closest 5 Guys restaurant!  I'll spare you the details but it was an ugly, barbeque sauce-covered mess.  With fries.  And a Coke.  Ok so we feel guilty, gross and bloated now, but it was soooo good!  It went a little something like this --------------------------->
No words that I type could convey my love for 5 Guys accurately but this guy does the trick! I'm convinced we would be best friends if we met.  From now on, when I want 5 Guys I'll just watch this instead.





Don't judge.  I'm addicted to food and you all already know that! Getting better....No more 5 Guys...

I'm no jive turkey...

Well y'all, Thanksgiving came and left with little fuss.  My brain is a bit fuzzy as my diet for the past 24 hours has consisted mostly of Nyquil for a funky little chest cold that I have going on over here on the sick-couch.  To make this post easy on all of us, I'll list some highlights and lowlights for the Thanksgiving weekend and the past couple of days.

Thanksgiving highlights
I had a nice easy day shopping with my mom in the morning and a dinner with our my husband's family.  Our dinner was nice and mostly healthy and there was no corn & mashed potato mountain of doom. (I have witnesses!)  I avoided the green bean casserole and that almost killed me! I could hear it crying after I shunned it. I did not avoid pie - though I only had 1/2 a slice.  Little victories.  I also did not step on the scale after; or since last Sunday. We'll get to that later.

General highlights

Gosh!

Again this past few days, I have had friends check in on me to see how I'm doing. And I have one friend who IMs me nearly every day just checking on me. I some bad-ass friends I tell you.  Even my friends who I never see rock - even a little text or email helps!

I started 'playing' Just Dance on our Wii U.  I have to say it is awesome! -And hilarious for my husband to watch as I try to look like Nicki Minaj.  It is one heck of a work-out! I think this is a great way to stay mobile; especially when its gross outside.  Before you even think it, NO, this is not like saying "Oh, I do Wii fit...".  You must MOVE to hang in there with the songs.  And of course I'm doing my own karaoke show for myself along with each song.  I'm perfecting some pretty sweet moves.

New decisions
So I made some progress in the first weeks of my little project, but I don't think I'm structured enough.
-And I don't think I can build the structure I need myself.  So my buddy and I are going to give Weight Watchers a shot. I'm going to start going tomorrow, which is why I didn't weigh myself.  I was getting a little kooky about it so I'll let the WW people take care of that for me.  I did try this program a looooong time ago and it seemed to work when I followed it - which lasted about two or three weeks. Ugh.   Wish us luck!