Exhale!

Thank you, baby Jesus! I made it through Christmas alive, well, well-fed and I still managed to be down another pound today at my weigh-in!  Pause. Exhale. Happy Dance.

It can be done! I can make it through a holiday without making myself miserable and filling myself with chocolate, bread, potatoes and cheese.  I did find myself staring at all the sinful foods; and thinking about them. A lot. Obsessed! Addicted!

My friends and I were talking about this over lunch today.  -And I think I've mentioned this before.  While I can't this is the same (having friends who have struggled with addictions of various types) but food addiction really does parallel other addictions pretty closely.  I'm making good progress, maintaining a good attitude and trying to get better, yet still all I can think about is F O O D. I am seriously going to talk to a professional about this.  I mean I've always been a little odd; okay, a lot odd but holy cow this is a little much!

Until I can sort my brain out, I will continue to try to do the right things.  I worked with my doctor and have found a good combo of vitamins and I can totally tell a difference in the way I've been feeling overall these past few weeks.  I, for real, did join the gym this week.  They open next week and I'm ready to roll!

I'm still here...

I've not been holding up my end of the bargain with my posts! It seems there are actually some of you out there reading this; and calling me out when I'm not updating the blog.  Honestly with all the crazy events going on in the U.S. I didn't really feel like my whining and documentation really needed to be out there.  My suffering is pretty minimal when you think about.  Since my last post on the 12th, I'm down about 5 (ish) more pounds. -Great little Christmas present to myself!

I'm hanging in there and working the program but still having crazy (and I mean CRAZY) food cravings and other weird happenings.  I'm telling y'all, being a food addict is no joke.  My WW buddy had to talk me off the pigs-in-a-blanket ledge via text message the other day!

I've decided to add a little more structure to my fitness attempts - I'm joining the gym.  There is finally an option out in the country where we live there will work for me.  The sad thing is, I have free access to a gym, etc. at my job but I just can't do it! It's just strange to me...

Anyway, I'll be checking in again before New Year's Eve.  I hope you all have a great Christmas!

Slow and Steady and Call Me In The Morning...

I was waiting until tonight to post as it was my second Weight Watchers weigh-in.   I was down 1 pound at my first weigh-in (My WW buddy lost 5 her first week! Go G!)  -And tonight I type to you 4.8 more pounds lighter! That is so promising because I haven't been very active in the past week.  I know I'm eating well enough to keep my body working! WW is going well and I like it - so I'm going to keep it up.  When I went years ago I felt it was a bit judgy and annoying.  Is judgy an actual word, by the way?  So far I feel that there is ample support there if one needs it; but no one hovers and smothers.  Anyone else want to join us? I have a coupon for a friend! P.S. cutting coupons in front of the TV is a great substitute for bad snacks.

Other than my slow, but steady, progress I've thrown in one small towel and started working with my doctor(s) about things that I may not be able to fix completely on my own with or without food.  I've got a few more appointments to get through and some reading to do. Hopefully, I'll have some good news to share on that front soon. No, I'm not knocked up and, no, I'm not having surgery! 

Remember when I said back in October that I was going figure it all out on my own, etc.? I never planned on being anti-medicine and anti-diet program but I did need to prove to myself that I was serious.  Losing some pounds and starting to exercise on my own and sticking with is (except for my one night stand with 5 Guys) was my way of doing just that.  Now that I know I can help myself out - I can use other methods too. I'll check in again in a few days, y'all.  

Until then, here's what I'm obsessed with at the moment. 

Addendum, or Going Out With A Bang...

Here's Thursday update for you.  We weren't able to attend our first WW meeting last night so we will start tonight. Again, wish us luck!  I am still very proud of the work I've done so far but have decided I really need this structured jump start.  And since I'm going to jump start, my sick brain decided I'm going out in a blaze of glory (preach, Jon Bon Jovi!).

So there I was, in the car with my friend. We'll call her 'Floyd' for anonymity's sake. Low and behold, the car drives right to our closest 5 Guys restaurant!  I'll spare you the details but it was an ugly, barbeque sauce-covered mess.  With fries.  And a Coke.  Ok so we feel guilty, gross and bloated now, but it was soooo good!  It went a little something like this --------------------------->
No words that I type could convey my love for 5 Guys accurately but this guy does the trick! I'm convinced we would be best friends if we met.  From now on, when I want 5 Guys I'll just watch this instead.





Don't judge.  I'm addicted to food and you all already know that! Getting better....No more 5 Guys...

I'm no jive turkey...

Well y'all, Thanksgiving came and left with little fuss.  My brain is a bit fuzzy as my diet for the past 24 hours has consisted mostly of Nyquil for a funky little chest cold that I have going on over here on the sick-couch.  To make this post easy on all of us, I'll list some highlights and lowlights for the Thanksgiving weekend and the past couple of days.

Thanksgiving highlights
I had a nice easy day shopping with my mom in the morning and a dinner with our my husband's family.  Our dinner was nice and mostly healthy and there was no corn & mashed potato mountain of doom. (I have witnesses!)  I avoided the green bean casserole and that almost killed me! I could hear it crying after I shunned it. I did not avoid pie - though I only had 1/2 a slice.  Little victories.  I also did not step on the scale after; or since last Sunday. We'll get to that later.

General highlights

Gosh!

Again this past few days, I have had friends check in on me to see how I'm doing. And I have one friend who IMs me nearly every day just checking on me. I some bad-ass friends I tell you.  Even my friends who I never see rock - even a little text or email helps!

I started 'playing' Just Dance on our Wii U.  I have to say it is awesome! -And hilarious for my husband to watch as I try to look like Nicki Minaj.  It is one heck of a work-out! I think this is a great way to stay mobile; especially when its gross outside.  Before you even think it, NO, this is not like saying "Oh, I do Wii fit...".  You must MOVE to hang in there with the songs.  And of course I'm doing my own karaoke show for myself along with each song.  I'm perfecting some pretty sweet moves.

New decisions
So I made some progress in the first weeks of my little project, but I don't think I'm structured enough.
-And I don't think I can build the structure I need myself.  So my buddy and I are going to give Weight Watchers a shot. I'm going to start going tomorrow, which is why I didn't weigh myself.  I was getting a little kooky about it so I'll let the WW people take care of that for me.  I did try this program a looooong time ago and it seemed to work when I followed it - which lasted about two or three weeks. Ugh.   Wish us luck!

In off the ledge (or, A Niblet's Demise)...

Well I'm proud to say I'm back down to 276!!! I buckled down a little bit more since I last posted and feel a little better about my whole deal. -Just in time for Thanksgiving. Hopefully I can control myself, but y'all just don't know what mashed potatoes do to a big girl!

See - I'm not the only one...

I mean here's how sick I am. WAS. How sick I was. I'd have to have a giant pile of 'taters that had some height to it. Why? Duh...because I'd have to dig a hole and fill it full of butter and precious little corn niblets!! Then after a few bites with the nearest spork or other utensil, modern conveniences won't do and I have to start using my rolls ( yes plural ) to dip! You get the picture...do you need a cigarette? Whew! I sure do!

Not this year. I'll enjoy myself for sure; but no potato mountains. And I certainly won't be talking to the poor little niblets as they drown in Country Crock. -Not that I ever did that, I'm just sayin'...

All gluttony aside, though, I really do feel a little better. I'm finding that it's still tough keep these new habits in tact but I'm trying. I feel like I may need some sort of new jump start soon. Suggestions welcomed.

Now sorry to get mushy, but I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving and can spend some time with family and friends. My home-town community got hit with a harsh dose of reality this week with the sudden loss of a child. Things like this make one think hard about the ones closest to us. Just do me a favor and have a great time over the holidays, but think some good thoughts about folks who are struggling.

So...yeah...I've got that goin' for me...

I'm back after an unplanned blog hiatus.  My last post on October 28th was short, sweet and exciting!

Now what?

I'm back up a few pounds and have not been active at all in the past week.  I guess one could say I've fallen off the horse.  It's so funny how a person can work to form new habits, be doing really well with them, and then BOOM goes the dynamite. I know, given my history, that am always one Wendy's #1 combo meal away from sliding off track.  Once you have one, you can't stop!

Our trip to GA - Cropped from boobs-up of course.

Well, yeah, so that happened.  We went a little vacation to visit friends and it was awesome! We had a blast but I made the mistake of uttering those famous fat girl words, "Dude, I'm on vacation! I'm not worrying about my diet..."  -And in the week since, I've taken that same lazy attitude with me a bit. Things at work are very busy, college basketball season has started, and my time is stretched a little bit thin right now.  So during times like this, my high-maintenence, serious friends like vegetables and my 5k Training App tend to get the boot and I prefer the company of pizza, Dr. Pepper and sweet tea.  They're like the friend you have who might be a little bit dumb, but you love him/her because he/she is low-maintenence, easy going, sweet and readily available.  I've been taking this route, and this combined a little natural hurdle can be so discouraging!

**Warning to men (and women in denial) - I'm going to talk briefly about my /<gasp> /<whisper> PERIOD.**

Look y'all , it sucks.  We know it's coming. We know what it does to us medically - always a headache, cramps, general shrewish behavior, sore bits-n-pieces and ALWAYS water/weight retention.  We KNOW this. Yet still when the scale creeps up and our jeans are a little tight it's still very, very discouraging.  So what happens? Pass the cheese fries, please!  I know we women should be thankful for our period (yes, y'all, say it out loud - period. It's okay.) because we know our bodies are carrying on well naturally.  But, other than the life disruptions we have to go through monthly when it shows up, menses seems to derail our whole train of logical thinking and make us a little bit brain-dead. Why is that?  I know all of these things and yet still I'm discouraged as heck!

Anyway, enough about that.  The good news is there's always tomorrow and I'll get back on the horse. -Had a healthy grocery shopping trip last night and I got a safety light for being on the road after dark (thanks a lot, time change!)    So I've got the goin' for me, which is nice. ----------------------------------------->

Lastly today, I've had a few friends check on me this week just to see how I'm feeling or how I'm progressing with my new life choices.  You all win 100 cool points from me! I really appreciate that!!

This week, I need to try and plan meals a little better, use myfitnesspal (because it helps!) and get out on the pavement!

It's the little things...

I'm down to 279! Happy dance! Tiny victory. That is all.  Stay dry out there!

$hit just got real...

Well friends, this week has not gone so well regarding my new eating and exercise habits. As of today my weight is back up two pounds and my hips and sacroiliac area (you know, the bones/joints that look like a butterfly behind your butt) are in a great deal of pain. That's a big bummer. So how do I figure out the problem here and turn these setbacks into something I can use?

First, I did slack off late in the week with my exercise. This, of course, contributed to my lack of progress on the scale.  I'm thinking this literal pain-in-the-butt is coming from my shoes or my posture. I am going to have my walking/jogging posture and gait analyzed and likely will buy a new pair of shoes. We're going on a mini-vacation at the end of the coming week, though, so this will have to wait until payday when we get back.  {Contrary to popular belief, working for one of the top universities in the country does not have me swimming around in my money like Scrooge McDuck. :) }  So my budget will allow this after our trip  -Updates on this to come. Y'all don't let me forget!  I will, however, be back on the road starting tomorrow and every other day as long as Hurricane Sandy doesn't come in and ruin everyone's fun here in central Virginia. I'll just take it a little easier for a bit.

Casualties of (fat)War

Next, I was lucky enough to have some social outings this week with wonderful friends.  These, of course, generally revolve around two things (other than gossip):  food, and frothy beverages.  I really wasn't nearly as bad as I would normally have been, but I did enjoy myself.  We see how that turned out.

So I spent this wild Friday night  before blogging cleaning out our pantry.  I did let Jason, my husband and best supporter ever, keep his snacks within reason.  I was shocked at all of the absolute crap I have in this house to eat!  Not doing this on day one of my epiphany was a mistake.   Look at all of it!! Ugh. I just threw up in my mouth a little. I'm shooting myself in the foot! How can I be good with all of this here?
Answer:  I can't.  So it's out.  I'll always remember our love affair with fondness, Tony The Tiger.  I'm going to do better. -And I will get where I need to be.  I just needed another "a-ha" moment.  It's on now...

One more week down...

Well here we are again, y'all. It's Sunday. -Another week down that included a few bumps but as of this morning I am at 279.5! My fingers don't feel quite as sausage-like as I type today! :) Honestly, I haven't noticed any differences physically. I'm sure I'll have to get that number lower for that.

I'm very excited that I continue to make progress because, honestly, I thought after one week I would have screwed myself up somehow. That's not to say that I still haven't made some not-so-great choices or enjoyed a treat! I have.  I had a few beers with friends Friday night, but also chose to eat a light dinner to help myself out.  That's the balance I'm trying to create every day so that I don't make myself miserable along with everyone around me.  I'm not saying that I'm ok if I drink beer every day as long as I eat a plain grilled chicken breast.  I know better than that!

Walk buddy  - Leroy Jenkins

I also know that I need to begin to push myself now with the exercise part of this. I've been doing well but I'm going to have to start moving even more.  My dog seems to understand this since he's been brining me his leash and harness and giving me the stare-down every time I come in the house!

Making it through a home football Saturday was a little easier this week since we had an early game and I had to work.  Less temptation!!


I've noticed this week...

...that I'm not nearly as moody as I had been since the start of my
    little project

...that I'm not as stressed if I don't weigh myself every morning

...taking the candy jars off my desk at work brings me less visitors :( but it was really one of the best decisions I've made

...Justin Timberlake finally realized that I've moved on with my life without him so he hit rock-bottom and married that poor girl.


Goals for the coming week...

Move more!
Lots more water!
Cook more meals at home!
Check out other walking/jogging apps for my phone. My LoLo app isn't really cutting it for me anymore. Any suggestions?